There is an article on these boards by a man by the name of Eric, who writes about The resistant woman. That article speaks to me on several levels: The first being that I am what Eric would categorize as “resistant” in that I am a “worthy opponent” and although I am deeply, deeply feminine, I am not feminine in the cookie cutter way some might think of as feminine. Oh, I look like a girl, dress like a girl, act like a girl, I do in fact, purely love being a girl, but I am no Stepford Wife. I am tough minded, bright, funny, witty, and politically astute. I make my living daring the other fellow to blink first. I hold a number of politically incorrect opinions, and while I am not deliberately unkind or crassly controversial, I will, more often than not, make my feelings known. I say this in all honest candor; I can quite literally hold my own in any arena.

I am not naturally submissive. In fifth grade my teacher sent home the following note attached to my report card: “Kim is a natural leader with many fine qualities; however she does not suffer fools gladly, and can be quite dismissive to those she finds tiresome. She has been a challenge, but I have been enriched by having her in my class this year.” I was 10 years old. I am now 45, and nothing has changed. I have perhaps learned more patience, but I am still an “enriching challenge.” You will be many things if you are part of my life. Bored will not be one of them.

I believe it goes without saying then that any man corresponding with an eye toward a long term romantic relationship with me would need to be very self-confident, with plenty of attributes to back up that self-confidence. There are rewards, I believe, to being engaged with me on any level, and the rewards increase as the level of intimacy increases. I may not readily and whole-heartedly jump into a relationship, as several missteps of late have made me more inclined to reticence, I’m afraid. I am looking to you to help me out of the tree I have climbed to avoid the panthers.

The other level that Eric’s article spoke to me on was quite simply one of heartening. It did my heart good to think there really might be men who can understand and appreciate strong women, who can give as good as they get in the relationship arena. If life is something of a battleground (and my experience has taught me that life, while beautiful and sacred, is also a war zone, even at the best of times) who would you want in your corner? Would you want a blindly obedient, supercilious simpering ninny; or a woman of passion and fire, loyalty and spirit? Having said that however, know this: I want My Man to lead in all things.

If it seems a contradiction in terms, it is because – it is. That is the magic and the mystery. If all I were seeking was another perfectly nice man I could lead around for a merry chase, I wouldn’t be here. If what you are looking for is a woman to dominate because you need to dominate something, after all, and everyone ‘knows’ woman are easy, then please do not correspond with me. I am sure there is a perfectly nice woman out there for you, but I am not she. If your idea of leading our relationship is writing a bunch of rules up I ‘must’ follow, please don’t correspond with me. Trust me, darling, we would only end up hating each other, and I don’t want that.

If, however, you have the brains, and the nerve, and the true virility to go the distance for a long-term romance/relationship with a former unrepentant daddy’s girl, who spends her time about equally divided in the brat and angel camps, and who can occasionally use a little help finding her way back to the correct camp, perhaps we should talk. Particulars: 45. Professional. Central Texas. I do travel a good bit in my line of work, and some find that problematic. I hope you won’t, although heaven knows I sometimes do. I am attractive, if you like my type. As one Middle Eastern man once said to me, meaning to insult me, “You Americans with your big white teeth always smiling! What are you so happy about!? You make me sick!” So, you see, while many men may find me attractive, there was at least one fellow from Iran who definitely did not. Physical attraction is such a chemical reaction thing, what good would describing myself here really do? First lets see if we have anything to talk about. I do have one sort of caveat, though. I am very much into physical fitness, and would prefer you give your physical self more than just a passing glance. You know, it is important to keep up if you are going to lead, after all.

I know the song; I'm a classic rock fan. And listen, I didn't mean to imply I was going to be celibate forever. (Hopefully not, anyway.) I just meant I am not going to go *there* until I meet someone well worth going *there* with. Promiscuity is not my thing, although I am a rather outrageous flirt, and you can't believe the misunderstandings that engenders. I should stop, I know, but it's so wickedly fun. And girls just wanna have fun! I said girls just wanna have fun! --(Can't think of the artist. From the 80's, I think. Cyndi Lauper, maybe?) Okay, gotta run. Have another date that will probably amount to nada. OKAY! OKAY! I'm being positive--I'm going, aren't I?

Celibacy might be your current situation. That's the way it goes some times. But that is not the way it always will be. Choosing no relationship instead of a poor relationship makes a lot of sense. But keep trying. It's like the song says; "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you get what you need". (Jagger-Richards)